Saturday, September 28, 2013


Stuck rhymes with duck.  Lately I feel stuck in this injured body.  Stuck in Boulder.  Stuck in my mind.

You know that scene in the first Star Wars movie when the characters, including Princess Leah, are being pressed upon by the crushing walls?  That is how I feel.  Not so much the bilateral swirligig hairdo, but more the "I am about the be crushed to death" feeling.

I am not able to work because of my physical and mental issues.  I was denied Social Security because they say I can move my arms and think for myself.  I can't find a lawyer to represent my appeal.  I was hit by a driver who didn't have enough insurance to cover my medical expenses.  He has no assets, so there is no relief there.  My health insurance plan is crap.  I was turned down by the Victim's Assistance Fund because PT and manual therapies are not considered necessary medical expenses, although they are healing me.  I have been stuck with this condo during a lengthy litigation and reconstruction process because of the developer's greed and speed.  Foodstamp benefits are decreasing because lack of federal funding.  My PTSD sky-rocketed after being hit by another car in another crosswalk on July 4th this year.  I just found out my leg and neck are still broken.  I can't walk more than two blocks and I can't lift more than a gallon of water and I can't travel by myself.  Winter is coming and I feel afraid.  I don't see the way out.

It is like rock climbing.  Being stuck on a sheer face of a multi-pitch climb.  You HAVE to go up.  But I am tired, and my legs are shaking.  I'm sweating and panicking.  My mind is myopic.  

Stuck rhymes with duck.

Anam Thubten says, "Paradise is the awakened mind".  How to wake up?

Go inside.  Pause.  Breathe with your heart.  Let the brain fall into your low belly.  Feel your whole body.  Lick your lips and say "Ahhhhhh" then "Shhhhhhh".  

Find your HeartMind.

Suddenly a teeny tiny microscopic rock reveals itself!  Put the tip of my toe on that and power myself up to the next hand hold.  Hooray!

Aren't options amazing?

I have options.  I know something about something.  And it doesn't have to do with Social Security, Social Services, lawyers, bureaucrats, insurance companies, agencies, realtors, builders, or systems.  

It has to do with the heart.  With the body.  This is the awakened mind.  Paradise lies within.  The body is always in the present moment.  Embody it.  The heart is witnessing every cell.  Become aware of it.

Be and know, without thinking.  That is paradise.  That is your HeartMind.  This is my little foothold.  And it's the only option any of us need.

Please join me in the coming months as I continue to offer HeartMind classes and individual sessions.  I hope it can help you.  I know it has helped me.  I wouldn't be here without it.

With love and gratitude, Thupten

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